"...Heavy chain,

that does freeze my bones around!"

I love stamps. You feel me

THE BRO ZONE

Ian Stinkpiece: I Can't Read Manga Anymore

For real though. I tried to read a bit of Black Clover solely for the hot evil broseph with the perpetual ":l" face, but god DAMN are fights sickening to read when the protag or whoever is internally monologuing and taking what should be a good 5 minutes of their time just to mentally explain the villain's power up to you, the reader.

Like, let me just make something up.

"T-the evil king just got his last virgin heart and now Pangea will start reforming if he says bussy!!!"

Now stretch that over an absurd amount of time while the evil king or whoever is ready to clobber the absolute fuck out of the protag who's just staring at him while STILL monologuing!

WHO READS THIS SHIT?

Like dude, can you fucking imagine if Western media did this shit too? Here's an example - visualize yourself watching some capeshit movie, like the Avengers or something.

Now, when Thanos is about to snap his fingers and eviscerate morbillions of mid to shit tier characters, picture the camera zooming in on Iron Man's face as an inner monologue from Tony starts playing for about two and a half minutes while Thanos' big purple sausage fingers are just about to snap instead of big funny purple guy just fucking doing it already.

That sounds ridiculous! And apparently to only me, it is also just as ridiculous in Eastern media as it would be in Western media.

Let me put this into perspective for you - until now, this incredibly poor decision in manga writing never irked me. I read over 1000 chapters of One Piece for god's sake - I also read the chief offender of this shit, all 8 goddamn parts of it.

Yeah. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is probably the worst about whatever this writing quagmire should be called. At least in part 1 and 2, there was Speedwagon to goofily narrate fights and shit while letting the main character beat the absolute fuck out of a half naked 7 foot tall vampire - everything after those absolutely KINO parts, however? If I were to reread them, I'd probably spew vomit all over myself and my computer like an overexcited firehose.

This rant could devolve into a schizocoded ramble about how shitty part 5 is, but truthfully, I've already blown that wordy puff of air out of my ass at least 3 times so I'll pass.

Anime bad.